1 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:37,599 This is your captain speaking, 2 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,599 keep your eyes on the board. We're about to go supersonic. 3 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,319 Ninety-seven, 98... 4 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:54,759 Ninety-nine! 5 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,040 Did we break the sound barrier? 6 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,999 Sorry, Mr Campbell-Black. I didn't know it was you in there. 7 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:48,840 Enjoying your flight, Rupert? 8 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:50,920 Tony Baddingham. 9 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:53,999 Do you know Beattie Johnson from the Scorpion? 10 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:57,399 Oh, no, but I hear great things. 11 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,119 Did the prime minister give you permission 12 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,839 to fuck a journalist in the onboard toilet? 13 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:03,199 Loo, Tony. Don't be plebeian. 14 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,079 Beattie's ghosting my memoirs, 15 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,199 and I always believe in laying one's ghost. 16 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:08,840 Oh, Beattie. What's your angle? 17 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,479 Champion showjumper put out to pasture? 18 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:15,840 Now a powerless backbench politician, casting around for his next hobby? 19 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:19,479 Never quite achieving the success he once had. 20 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,919 What were you doing in New York? 21 00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:23,559 Whoring yourself around advertisers? 22 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,599 You know, if you don't start spending some of that fortune you're coining 23 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,119 on making decent television, you're gonna lose your business. 24 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:32,519 Very much in hand. Just recruited a hot shit young producer. 25 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:33,599 Who? 26 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,479 Hmm. Cameron Cook. 27 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,280 Never heard of him. 28 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,239 You will. 29 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,799 Desperate to work for Corinium. Bit my hand off, in fact. 30 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:44,599 Hope it didn't bleed on your nice suit. 31 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,480 Wake me when we hit Mach 2. 32 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,959 Drug use, pornography, easier divorce, rampant homosexuality. 33 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:54,559 Recent studies have shown 34 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:58,999 that HIV isn't exclusively a homosexual disease, Deputy Prime Minister. 35 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,880 Oh, but loveless rutting. 36 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:05,599 The promiscuous encounters that characterise a Saturday night in Soho. 37 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,439 Those are the preconditions for this virus which threatens-- 38 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,119 The precondition, Deputy Prime Minister, 39 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,839 is the Victorian conservatism of the Tory government, 40 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,719 which is narrow-minded, hypocritical and, quite frankly, cruel. 41 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,799 - Okay. And cut there. Thank you. - We're in the proc-- 42 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:21,279 - Ready to go again. - He can say gay sex is loveless rutting, 43 00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:23,599 but I can't make a small comment about the government? 44 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,239 BBC editorial policy, Declan. 45 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:26,799 Sorry, Deputy Prime Minister. 46 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,239 - We're going again. - Yeah. 47 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:29,679 Cue Declan. 48 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:37,239 Mr Stratton, yourself and Mrs Stratton have been married, what, 15 years? 49 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,639 Fifteen in April. Yeah. 50 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,999 Three children, a wife, a mistress and an all-consuming job. 51 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,080 It must be difficult to juggle everything. 52 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,559 - What? - Uh, though your wife, Winifred, 53 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,719 has been staying at her family's Pimlico apartment, 54 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,800 which must have made it easier for you to spend time with your, uh, 55 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:58,399 29-year-old secretary, Miss Sarah Price, 56 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:02,079 who proudly told our researchers that you have the girth and stamina 57 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,079 to compete with any championship racehorse. 58 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:05,799 Is that a fair comment to make, sir? 59 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:07,239 I, uh-- Well-- The-- 60 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,719 Cut. Cut. 61 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:11,119 I would look to your own glass house, Deputy Prime Minister, 62 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:12,879 before you start throwing rocks at others'. 63 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:15,519 Declan, if we could just do another take without the slander. 64 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:16,599 Fuck off, Alistair. 65 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:19,120 Fucking prick. 66 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:24,079 ...fucking... ...bullshit. 67 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:27,240 Fucking... 68 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:32,440 Fuck. 69 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,639 Don't know whose bloomers are in more of a twist tonight, 70 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,639 Auntie's or the prime minister's. 71 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:55,199 We both know the BBC won't show tonight's episode. 72 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:58,599 I've said it before, Lord Baddingham. I'm happy here. 73 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,639 And I'm not interested in commercial television. 74 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:03,320 Oh. 75 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,360 Director general calling to say you've been a naughty boy? 76 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,440 I'm offering you freedom. 77 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,960 I saw your interview with Reagan. I bet they hacked out some corkers. 78 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,200 We'd put you out live. 79 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,080 - Live? - Complete editorial control. 80 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,599 Skewer the bastards on air. 81 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,400 It's halfway around the world before anyone's got a chance to complain. 82 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,400 Satellite's coming. We're going global. 83 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,400 It's exciting. 84 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,280 You're stuck here with a load of librarians 85 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,280 when you could be an astronaut. 86 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:00,480 I'd have to persuade Maud. 87 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,200 Massive house in the country? She'd love it. 88 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,519 What's a Wicklow man like you doing in Fulham, dodging litter and dog shit? 89 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,440 Come to the Cotswolds. 90 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:14,320 Even I have to wince sometimes at how fucking pretty the place is. 91 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,079 - Little signing bonus. - Ugh. 92 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,719 Declan, come on. You're being paid peanuts 93 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:27,680 to give bloodless interviews with one hand tied behind your back. 94 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,000 It's the golden age of television. 95 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:33,880 You're missing the game. 96 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,640 Oh. Daddy's home. 97 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:01,320 Hi, Daddy. 98 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,159 Hello, darling. How was your day? 99 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,640 Extremely successful. 100 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:10,759 Sorry I landed on your game. 101 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:12,720 Yes, we do have other lawns. 102 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,880 Here we are, girls. The Priory. 103 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:53,279 Caitlin, we're here. 104 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:54,959 - What? - We're here. We're here. 105 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,200 Look. We're here. 106 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:02,200 Oh, my God. 107 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:27,199 Exciting things are gonna happen to us in a place like this. 108 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,399 Amazing. 109 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:30,599 Race you to the top. 110 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:32,359 - Bagsy best room. - Absolutely not. 111 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:34,440 Prettiest prison I ever saw. 112 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:10,919 Jehovah's Witness. 113 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,600 - Oh, fuck. She's seen us. - Oh, shit. 114 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,239 - Oh, you'll have to go down. - What? Why me? 115 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,840 - I'm a lookout. For him. - What? God. 116 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:22,999 Soviet officials ... 117 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,439 ... have announced that 79 bodies have been recovered 118 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,319 and nearly 320 people are missing... 119 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,719 Door! 120 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,399 ...after a Soviet cruise ship sank in the Black Sea on Sunday. 121 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,799 Door! 122 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,119 Hello. 123 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,519 - I just wanted to welcome you to-- Oh. - Down, Gertrude. Sorry. 124 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,079 - Oh, no. No, thank you. - Hmm. 125 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,879 Uh, we're not on the best of terms with Jehovah in this house. 126 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,359 Taggie, just shut the door. 127 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,999 Oh, it's not mine. I found it on the lawn. 128 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,319 - New English? - Um... 129 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,759 - Is it the New English Bible? - Ye-Yes. 130 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,879 Daddy says it's a literary abomination. He must've thrown it out the window. 131 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,799 I'm Lizzie. I-I live down the valley. 132 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,560 I brought you a bottle and some eggs. 133 00:11:58,400 --> 00:11:59,559 We'll open this now. 134 00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:00,719 Okay. 135 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,480 Come on in. 136 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:05,320 We haven't found the wineglasses yet. 137 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,719 What time is the second post here? 138 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,279 Oh, there isn't a second post. 139 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,519 Hmm. Taggie lost her virginity this summer 140 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:14,719 to one of our son Patrick's university friends. 141 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:16,239 He's in the south of France right now 142 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:18,759 - and not writing many postcards. - Mummy. 143 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,319 Aw, it must be so lonely for Rupert now he's not showjumping. 144 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:25,039 And the only thing that persuaded Caitlin to leave all her friends in London 145 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,439 was the thought of living opposite Rupert Campbell-Black. 146 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,559 I want him to ravish me. 147 00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,079 He's a middle-aged MP, Caitlin. 148 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:32,159 Well, I'm so cross. 149 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,239 I'm off to boarding school and won't get first crack at him. 150 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:36,159 He's bound to fall for Taggie or even Mummy. 151 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,119 How well do you know him? 152 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:42,319 Oh, I-I-I'm not sure anyone really knows Rupert, but we're friends. 153 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:43,759 So not carnally then? 154 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:47,319 I'm one of the few women around here who hasn't been ravished by Rupert. 155 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,119 Is your husband fiercely protective? 156 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,200 Oh, that's my novel. 157 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,679 I wrote it. Have you read it? 158 00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:59,439 Oh, no. Taggie doesn't read. Uh, she's dyslexic. 159 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,759 For a long time, we thought she was retarded. 160 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,959 Oh, He Took What He Wanted. I loved this. 161 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,239 Talk about getting ravished. 162 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,319 Isn't there a very naughty bit with some dock leaves? 163 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:10,639 Oh. 164 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:11,720 Oh. 165 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:16,879 Yeah, the photo's quite old. 166 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,399 Have you got another one coming out? 167 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,639 Well, what with the children and my husband, 168 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,399 I don't find much time to write nowadays. 169 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:26,359 Tag, I need a shirt and some fucking socks. 170 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:27,799 Oh. 171 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,279 - Daddy, that's Lizzie. - I-I-I live just down the valley. 172 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,399 - She writes dirty books. - Nice to meet you. 173 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,279 - You're wearing my socks. - They're warmer than tights. 174 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,239 - Sorry, still unpacking. - Thanks, love. 175 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,479 How easy is it to find help around here? 176 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,879 We are not forking out for a cleaner. 177 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:44,399 Well, stealing a woman's help around here is worse than stealing her husband. 178 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:45,879 What if you stole both? 179 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:50,679 That's grand, Tag. 180 00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:54,959 Right, I am going to buy 30 pairs of socks in such a disgusting colour 181 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,079 that none of you will ever pinch them again. 182 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,079 - Nice to meet you, Lizzie. - Yeah. 183 00:13:58,080 --> 00:13:59,879 - Good luck, Daddy. - Give 'em hell! 184 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,639 - Yeah. - All right, let's get smashed! 185 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,279 Welcome to Rutshire. 186 00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:08,640 Ooh. Whoo! 187 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:28,679 Declan, hi. 188 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:29,999 - Yeah. - There he is! 189 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,279 - That's him! - It's Declan! 190 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:32,279 Okay. 191 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:33,839 - What the fuck? - Declan! 192 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,039 Just a man of the people. 193 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,999 Don't be jealous, James. At least he won't steal your sunbed. 194 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,239 He's tall, isn't he? 195 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,039 Standing next to a very short car. 196 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:45,799 I saw him in Penscombe. 197 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,079 - I think he looks older in the flesh. - Thank you, Deirdre. 198 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,679 - Who's producing him? - Cameron. 199 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:52,679 But it's factual, not drama. And why does Cameron get all the good stuff? 200 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,159 I really can't think. 201 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,959 Declan, how much are they paying you? 202 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,599 Why'd you leave the BBC, Declan? 203 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,599 - Give us a smile. - All right. Thanks, lads. That's your lot. 204 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,759 - Get me the fuck out of here. - This way. 205 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,039 You've put the Paddy among the pigeons, haven't you? 206 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,639 Who says no Blacks, no Irish? 207 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,479 I'm a one-man equal opportunities revolution, Ginger. 208 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:18,000 I am a journalist, not a celebrity. I ask the questions. 209 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,480 It's Declan O'Hara. 210 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:26,119 Where the fuck is this Cameron guy I'm supposed to report to? 211 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:27,399 I mean, Jesus, 212 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,919 you don't just ambush someone. 213 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,279 I'm a serious fucking journalist. 214 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,760 I don't discuss my career with the Scorpion. 215 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,319 Shitshow. 216 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:39,120 Come in. 217 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:46,320 Where is he? 218 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,160 Take a seat, Declan. 219 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,800 - What, you're-- - Cameron Cook. 220 00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:00,159 You were expecting a man, possibly queer, 221 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:01,599 which you would have endured 222 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,239 but certainly not a woman and God forbid, a Black one. 223 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,679 I thought you were a publicity girl. 224 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,759 No, I'm a "producer-y" woman. 225 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:08,839 Listen, I'm not-- 226 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,920 Prejudice? Of course not. You're an asshole to everyone. 227 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,159 This isn't gonna work, Tony. 228 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,519 It's not a chat show. It's a serious programme. 229 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,639 I wanna produce a serious programme too, but there are ways 230 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,159 - of drawing the audience in first. - Cuddling up on a sofa with cushions? 231 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,399 You've seen the set design then? 232 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:26,799 I know my audience, Tony. A fucking sofa? 233 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:27,879 You might listen to Cameron. 234 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,840 NBC howled when I poached her. 235 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,439 Do you know Charles Fairburn, Controller of Programmes? 236 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,799 - Oh. - Declan. 237 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,319 We knew each other at the Beeb. 238 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:37,559 Hey, you look, um-- 239 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,479 Fatter. I don't miss the canteen at the BBC, darling. 240 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,080 And Ginger Baines, Head of Operations. 241 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:48,399 I'm sorry, Tony. I produce myself. 242 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,039 I've got Johnny Friedlander flying over for your first interview. 243 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:52,599 Johnny Friedlander the film star? 244 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,039 No, Johnny Friedlander my dentist. 245 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,919 I don't interview actors. 246 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,639 Friedlander doesn't give interviews. Not since the sex tape. 247 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:01,959 - They're saying he could be the next Bond. - They'll have trouble replacing Roger. 248 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,879 I've been speaking to Jackie Kennedy. 249 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,599 She'll just blabber on about her old, boring publishing job. 250 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,999 No, she wants to talk about life as a single American woman, actually. 251 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,680 Hmm, you could learn something, Cameron. 252 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:14,039 Look, you two lock horns if it turns you on, 253 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,519 but don't forget I hired you both because you can get ratings. 254 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,760 So let's pull together and get them, yes? 255 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,759 The BBC have put Top of the Pops against us in the schedule. 256 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:24,959 So you need to be more popular than Jimmy Savile. 257 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,839 Johnny Friedlander is a global megastar, 258 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,559 and he hasn't given an interview in five years. 259 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:29,880 People will watch this. 260 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,000 Book Jackie for the next one. 261 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:39,600 Okay, fine. 262 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:42,760 But I do my own research. 263 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:45,320 And no fucking sofa. 264 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,519 Give him whatever fucking furniture he wants, all right? 265 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,359 - We all know it's not about the sofa. - I don't need this shit, Tony. 266 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:55,639 You brought me here to produce drama. Not a chat show. 267 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:57,799 I brought you here to be the cleverest person in the building 268 00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,839 and terrify the rest of them into pulling their socks up. 269 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:02,279 So far so good. You're a lion in a petting zoo. 270 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:04,239 But we need big game like Declan 271 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,400 to convince the IBA to renew our contract. 272 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,239 We lose the franchise, there won't be any drama to produce. 273 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,479 You'll be on the next boat back. 274 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,159 I didn't come here on a boat. 275 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:16,439 Forgive me. Semantics. 276 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,239 I flew here on fucking Concorde. 277 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:20,720 I paid for the ticket. 278 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:23,600 Worth every penny. 279 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,439 - It's gorgeous. - Yes. 280 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,560 There are badger setts up at the top there. 281 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:51,519 And in spring, the bluebells flame between the beech trees 282 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:52,999 like little Bunsen burners. 283 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,039 Sorry, I sound like an estate agent. 284 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,119 Oh... ...I just can't believe this is all ours. 285 00:19:58,120 --> 00:19:59,719 Well, only to the bottom of the wood, 286 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,680 and then Rupert will have you for trespassing. 287 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:05,280 Oh, thank you for walking me back. 288 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:07,880 I'm really quite pissed. 289 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:11,400 Hmm. 290 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,639 Looks like Rupert's back home. Caitlin will be scaling the wall. 291 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,559 Caitlin's all talk. 292 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,719 She's sworn off marriage until she's at least 35. 293 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:21,999 Got too much to do, she says. 294 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,920 And you? 295 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,239 With parents like yours, you must have big plans. 296 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,839 - Oh. I'd like to be a cook... - Oh. 297 00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:31,719 ...but following recipes and writing things down-- 298 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,960 I, um, don't know what to do with myself really. 299 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,119 How old are you? Nineteen? 300 00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:37,399 Twenty. 301 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,360 Your whole life ahead of you. 302 00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:42,559 It's 1986. 303 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,279 You can have whatever you want... 304 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,640 ...so Cosmo tells us. 305 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:51,199 Hmm. 306 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,119 - Back into battle. - Ellie, I'm gonna get you. 307 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,760 - How many children do you have? - Two. 308 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,479 Three, counting my husband. 309 00:20:58,480 --> 00:20:59,799 He works for Corinium too. 310 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,479 - Oh, you didn't say. - Go away, Sebastian! 311 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,799 I talk about my husband as little as possible. 312 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,119 He does enough of that himself. 313 00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:09,879 - Oh. - I'm gonna get you. 314 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:17,559 I'm gonna get you! 315 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,239 You can't catch me. 316 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:20,320 Hello. 317 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:22,400 What's going on? 318 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:39,960 Oh, my God. There's a fire. 319 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,720 Uh, there's a fire! Oh. 320 00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:54,080 Oh, come on. 321 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:17,359 Fire! 322 00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:22,319 I can't hit a bloody thing. 323 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,559 Fire! There's a fire! 324 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:27,319 Tit fault. Your tits were at least six inches over the line. 325 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:30,039 Well, cock fault then. You're at least ten inches over the line. 326 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,480 Um... 327 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:38,520 Don't be shy, darling. 328 00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:41,239 Your fields are on fire. 329 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:46,199 And? It's the quickest way to get rid of the stubble after the harvest. 330 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,239 Could you, um-- 331 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:50,279 So, you set fire to them on purpose? 332 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:51,360 Sorry, 333 00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,199 who the fuck are you, and why are you here? 334 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,159 What about the animals? The rabbits and voles and birds-- 335 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:57,799 Yes, and the lovely ickle earwigs. 336 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,199 Should I stop ploughing my fields 'cause it's cruel to woodlice? 337 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,279 You're murdering them. 338 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:02,879 Do you want me to give them a state funeral? 339 00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:07,999 What the hell? 340 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,960 Uh, I called the fire brigade. 341 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:15,559 Get off my land before I call the police as well... 342 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:19,199 ...and take that brute back to its pigsty. 343 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,999 You are utterly ab-- 344 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,399 Ooh. 345 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,800 - Ab-- - Abhorrent! 346 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,399 Gentlemen, you ordered a full-bodied Argentinian? 347 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:50,799 And the wine, Basil. 348 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:54,479 Yes. Have you tried this one before? It's very, very nice. 349 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:56,639 I'm assuming we're on expenses. 350 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:59,079 Bas enjoys helping me spend Corinium money. 351 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,759 I do. Oh, wonderful. 352 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:06,159 Now, I must say, I loved your coverage of the royal wedding, Charles. 353 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,639 Thank you, Bas. Andrew and Fergie are a modern-day fairy tale. 354 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,399 Well, you know what they say about redheads. 355 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,559 Enjoy, chaps. 356 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:14,759 That's Tony's brother? 357 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:16,359 Half-brother. 358 00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:17,439 He got the good half. 359 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:21,399 The mother had a scandalous fling with an Argentinian polo player. 360 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:22,560 Basil was the result. 361 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:27,999 Bas was always the favourite with Daddy, despite his dubious origins, 362 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,919 and poor Tony just never managed to catch up. 363 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:30,999 Does he hold a grudge? 364 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:35,199 Tony? Darling, he cultivates them like rare orchids. 365 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,199 Artists. Tony cultivates artists. 366 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:38,439 You're in safe hands. 367 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,639 We're-- We're-- We're so lucky to have such a strong leader at the helm. 368 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:42,839 Hello, Archie. 369 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:49,800 I'll have the liver and marmalade, and a radicchio salad. 370 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,839 - And for you, sir? - Steak. Still mooing. 371 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:01,999 Tony's son. 372 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:06,039 Working here for the summer holidays, teaching his children the value of money. 373 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:10,719 And tell me, is Cameron Cook as big a bitch as she seems? 374 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,280 She is a genius. 375 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:17,719 So, we ripped up the treatment, 376 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:21,799 aged all the characters down ten years and gave them some desire. 377 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,599 The men were all dickless, so I said to Tony, 378 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:28,559 "Our audience wants to fantasise about being banged over the sink 379 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:29,719 while doing the dishes." 380 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:34,399 And Four Men Went To Mow is now the top-rated network drama of the year. 381 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:35,879 Looking good, boys. 382 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:37,119 I smell like Sunday lunch. 383 00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:38,199 You look delicious. 384 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,039 Everybody, this is Lady Gosling, 385 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,439 chairwoman of the Independent Broadcasting Authority. 386 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:43,920 Best behaviour, everyone. 387 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,079 And this is the Declan set. 388 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:50,960 Yes, very impressive. You're rather impressive, aren't you? 389 00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,199 Where did Tony find you? 390 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:54,479 New York. 391 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:57,359 August 26, 1970, 392 00:25:57,360 --> 00:26:01,599 I marched with Gloria Steinem on the Women's Strike for Equality. 393 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:02,839 My mom was on that march. 394 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,240 - "Don't iron while the strike is hot." - Hmm. 395 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,839 I think you'll be pleased with the efforts we've made to address your concerns. 396 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,160 I am not your Barbie doll. 397 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,119 And Declan O'Hara's presence on the Corinium team, 398 00:26:17,120 --> 00:26:19,519 it just nudges that political dial leftwards. 399 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,079 And the board? 400 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:24,159 If you want to hang on to your franchise, then Corinium's board needs strengthening. 401 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:25,439 Well-- 402 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,520 Have you thought of Rupert Campbell-Black? 403 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,400 Rupert's presence would give you legitimacy, Anthony. 404 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,879 I don't like taking people's franchises away, 405 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,719 but Rupert would give Corinium real sparkle. 406 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,440 I want to be convinced that I'm backing the right horse. 407 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:44,600 Tell me more about your mother. 408 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,719 - My mom was into politics. - Really? 409 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:48,800 All about female pow-- 410 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:58,799 I mean, they don't tell you when you leave the BBC... 411 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,559 Yes, there's a lot more money in independent television... 412 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:06,399 ...but you're going up against 14 other regional companies just like you. 413 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,199 And then there's franchise renewal. 414 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,039 But that's what, once every five years, is it? 415 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:14,239 Yeah, but the anxiety is constant because some other company can just waltz in 416 00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,040 and take your franchise away. 417 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:21,400 We may not have had biscuits at the BBC, but all we had to do was make television. 418 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,279 - Do you think I made the wrong move? - Oh, no. 419 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:28,279 Granada have Coronation Street, LWT has Blind Date, 420 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,599 - Corinium now has you. - Hmm. 421 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:31,999 You're the golden goose, darling. 422 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,160 Sit back and let Tony fucking fatten you up. 423 00:27:37,360 --> 00:27:39,160 The foie gras is divine here, by the way. 424 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:02,440 Ugh. 425 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:08,719 I wish I was coming too. 426 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,479 I've only been invited so I can drive Mummy and Daddy home when they're drunk. 427 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,879 You've already met Rupert. It's not fair. 428 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:14,959 You saw his willy. 429 00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:15,959 He's vile. 430 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,440 Oh, that journalist is so lucky to be shagging him. 431 00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,400 - What are you looking for? - The bright-blue mini. 432 00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:26,679 Do you think it's gonna happen again? 433 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:27,760 What? 434 00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:29,800 Mummy. 435 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,399 Now we're here, I quite want to stay. 436 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,119 Taggie? 437 00:28:37,120 --> 00:28:38,920 Oh, let's go. 438 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:42,519 What? 439 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:43,839 You're wearing Taggie's dress. 440 00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,519 Uh, I wore this to Bono's Christmas party. 441 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:49,559 - It was mine then too. - Oh, you're so touchy these days. 442 00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,520 Look, we are going to go and meet the most wonderful people this afternoon. 443 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:54,800 I'm excited. 444 00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:00,160 Leaving London's going to be good for her and Daddy, isn't it? 445 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:02,880 It will be. 446 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:07,240 It'll be okay. I promise. 447 00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,840 Well done, darling. Great turnout again, I must say. 448 00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:02,120 Yes, I've told them to up the proportion of orange juice in the Buck's Fizz. 449 00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:04,719 I don't want everyone plastered like last year. 450 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:05,799 No. 451 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,119 So, which one is it you want for your board? 452 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,599 Is it the electronics millionaire chap? 453 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:13,080 Freddie Jones. He's over there with the tash. 454 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:16,319 I'll get him onto satellite technology. 455 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:18,599 You can ask her if she's made any friends in the area yet. 456 00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,159 She's opened a boutique in Cotchester, 457 00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,800 so you should offer to pop in and buy something. 458 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,840 Hmm. Is Miss Cook coming? 459 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:32,480 Couldn't drag her away from the studio. 460 00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,759 Declan goes live in a matter of days. 461 00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,840 And here's our star. 462 00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,199 You're even more beautiful in the flesh, Mrs O'Hara. 463 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:47,439 - Thank you. - Declan. 464 00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:49,479 - Tony. - We're so glad you're here. 465 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:51,559 Everyone's dying to meet some new people. 466 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,759 We're all very bored of each other. 467 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:56,479 The Maud O'Hara. My favourite actress. 468 00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:58,359 Bas, the better Baddingham. 469 00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:00,480 If you say so. 470 00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:02,399 So pleased you could make it, Basil. 471 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,639 Declan, let me show you off to some board members. 472 00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:06,760 Why don't we get you a drink? 473 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,079 You were wonderful as Lady Macbeth. 474 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:10,840 - Oh. - Come. 475 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:19,280 Yep. Oh. 476 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:24,599 Not going to Lord B's party? 477 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:27,039 Hmm, I turned Tony down. Not my kind of crowd. 478 00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:28,480 Is that the only reason? 479 00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:32,240 What other reason would there be? 480 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:35,639 I want your opinion. 481 00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:37,079 I'm not paid to have opinions. 482 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:38,160 Mm-hmm. 483 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:40,719 Now, I agreed to ditch the sofa, but why a desk? 484 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:42,199 He's-- He's not a news anchor. 485 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:43,919 Perhaps he wants to hide behind it. 486 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:45,279 Huh. 487 00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:48,160 It's not because he hasn't got good legs. I've looked. 488 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,959 Steve, move the desk off the set for a minute. 489 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:56,519 - Declan asked for the desk. - Yeah, I wanna see it without the desk. 490 00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:57,879 It's just, we built the desk-- 491 00:31:57,880 --> 00:31:59,279 Not telling you to burn the damn thing. 492 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,559 I'm telling you to move it so I can see the set. Can you do that? 493 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:03,199 All right. Keep your wig on. 494 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,600 That's funny. 495 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:07,960 You know what isn't funny? 496 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:10,840 Looking for another fucking job. 497 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:12,600 Mmm. 498 00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:23,360 It's better. See? It's better. 499 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,800 There they are. 500 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:35,080 Well, Rupert's arrived. 501 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:40,479 Really? 502 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,199 That's Gerald. Rupert's aide. 503 00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,040 We go way back. 504 00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:48,359 Where's your gorgeous lord and master? 505 00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:50,079 - He's not here? Damn it. - No. 506 00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:53,119 I have a pile of papers for him to sign and I can only pin him down at parties. 507 00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:54,679 You can pin me down later if you like. 508 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,360 Stop it. 509 00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:00,599 - Vol-au-vent? - Thank you. 510 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:03,559 Actually, I think I might just, uh... 511 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:04,799 Li-- 512 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:07,759 Lizzie. Lizzie! 513 00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:10,240 Um, I-- I think that man wants you. 514 00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:13,840 He doesn't want me. That's my husband. 515 00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:22,360 Thank you. 516 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:37,759 Thank you, darling. 517 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:39,999 Feel like I should be reading the news. 518 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,279 Fortunately, we have the wonderful James Vereker to do that instead. 519 00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:43,999 Oh. Thank you. Thank you. 520 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,879 Um, now I-- Don't worry, I won't keep you from your lunch. 521 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:48,919 Uh, but I'm very glad to have you all here 522 00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,800 to celebrate Corinium's newest star with me. 523 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:54,639 Ladies and Gentlemen, Declan O'Hara. 524 00:33:59,080 --> 00:33:59,959 Cheers. 525 00:33:59,960 --> 00:34:03,439 Declan joins Corinium, of course, on the crest of a wave. 526 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:08,000 Uh, wonderful ratings for our prestige drama, Four Men Went To Mow. 527 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:10,279 Who knew arable farming could be so sexy? 528 00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:15,399 Uh, and with revenue from our sales to America, 529 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:20,719 we are confident that this is going to be our most successful autumn ever. 530 00:34:20,720 --> 00:34:22,079 Hear. Hear. 531 00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:25,560 ...then jumped over six full-grown men. 532 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:33,359 Oh, my God. It's him. 533 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:37,039 So sorry. Sorry. Didn't mean to steal your thunder. 534 00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:38,519 No fire engines with you today? 535 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,639 Um, please, uh... ...go on with your speech. 536 00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:46,719 - Oh, hello, darling. - Hello. 537 00:34:46,720 --> 00:34:53,479 Um, but Declan, you are undoubtedly the jewel in the Corinium crown. 538 00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:58,399 And I know everyone here joins me in welcoming you, your wife, Maud, 539 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,959 and your daughter, Agatha, to our Cotchester family. 540 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:02,439 Declan O'Hara, Ladies and Gentlemen. 541 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,719 - Lunch, everybody. Lunch. - Drink? 542 00:35:13,720 --> 00:35:14,960 Thank you, darling. 543 00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:42,600 Mmm. Look at all this gorgeous food. 544 00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:50,159 People are always saying, "You should write a book, Mrs Jones. 545 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,479 You've led such a fascinating life." 546 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:53,559 How funny. 547 00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:55,440 People are always telling me I should open a shop. 548 00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:57,280 Oh. 549 00:35:57,880 --> 00:35:59,439 Uh, so where have you moved to? 550 00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:01,039 Wychey, Green Lawns. 551 00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:03,439 It's a lovely house, now we've added the extension and double-glazed 552 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,519 over those draughty old windows. 553 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:07,919 Those Victorians must have worn a lot of jumpers. 554 00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:10,239 Oh. Very good. 555 00:36:10,240 --> 00:36:12,759 But the only house I know round there is Bottom Hollow Court. 556 00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:14,599 Green Lawns sounded so much prettier. 557 00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:16,839 Especially now we've, uh, landscaped the garden. 558 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:18,439 No tatties, Fred-Fred. 559 00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,039 Lord Baddingham is wooing my Fred-Fred for his board. 560 00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:25,999 Oh. 561 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,279 I'm encouraging him to get more cultured. 562 00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:31,719 We could do with a few more caring wives at Corinium, Mrs Jones. 563 00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:34,559 Oh. Please, call me Mousie. 564 00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:36,039 All of my friends do. 565 00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:37,919 Shall we go and find somewhere to perch? 566 00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,679 Let's, Mousie. 567 00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:43,839 Do move on to something soft, darling. We don't want the hunt ball again. 568 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:44,799 Mmm. 569 00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:47,240 I do so enjoy your Cotswold Round-Up. 570 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:51,839 My husband tells me you're one of the most powerful men in England. 571 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:55,679 Yeah, I suppose I am. 572 00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,520 Then I expect you're allowed a few potatoes. 573 00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:02,599 One potato, two potato, three. 574 00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:05,280 - Shall we find more booze? - Mmm. 575 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:09,400 Hello, Declan. 576 00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:11,119 I'll see you later. 577 00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:15,319 We were all so surprised when you left the BBC for Corinium. 578 00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:17,439 - Mm-hmm. - Do you miss your integrity, 579 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:19,519 or do you feel lighter without it? 580 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:21,799 What was it the Private Eye called you? 581 00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:24,440 The first not-quite-a-lady of Fleet Street, was it? 582 00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:32,679 Tag, have you seen your mother around? 583 00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:34,320 No, I haven't. 584 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,879 I've met a few athletes in my time. They always get what they want. 585 00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:41,439 And what do we want? 586 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:42,519 To win. 587 00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:45,080 Well, sadly, I'm not showjumping anymore. 588 00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:48,520 Well, you're still athletic. 589 00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:53,279 You're certainly too disturbing to be living across the valley. 590 00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:00,760 - Ah. There you are. - Finally. 591 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,279 Shergar himself. 592 00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:07,519 Mr Campbell-Black, getting to know the neighbours? 593 00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:08,480 Huh. 594 00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:11,160 Taggie, have you met Rupert? 595 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:13,959 No. Think I'd remember. 596 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:15,799 Ugh, Agatha. It's my daughter. 597 00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:16,880 Uh, Taggie. 598 00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,399 I hear you did a hatchet job on Paul Stratton. 599 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:23,360 - That I'd have loved to see. - Mmm. 600 00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,760 Shall we make a dent in Tony's whisky collection? 601 00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:33,520 Why not? 602 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:49,719 Are you hiding again? 603 00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:52,119 Oh, they're just at the end of "Das Rheingold." 604 00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:53,520 I need you out there with me. 605 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:55,920 Bloody Rupert. I want to get this over with. 606 00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:57,600 Oh, come here. 607 00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:03,679 I can't believe I'm going to him for legitimacy. 608 00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,759 All he did for his status was be born into it. 609 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,319 It's just social currency, darling. It's the way the world works. 610 00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:09,919 Public school wanker. 611 00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:12,959 Well, shall we send Archie to a comprehensive and save on the school fees? 612 00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:17,519 Mmm. He'll only make you feel inferior if you give him permission. 613 00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:19,439 Now, deep breath, shoulders back. 614 00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:22,480 Good boy. 615 00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:27,279 Working the weekend? 616 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:29,760 Oh, I hope Tony's paying you handsomely, Ginger. 617 00:39:30,720 --> 00:39:33,079 Come on, dogs. 618 00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:35,239 Took some digging, but I found these. 619 00:39:35,240 --> 00:39:36,879 I think you'll enjoy them. 620 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:39,440 It's a little Declan O'Hara insurance. 621 00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:41,760 Oh. 622 00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:50,840 Mm-hmm. 623 00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:07,639 "Peaceful is the country that is strongly armed." 624 00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:08,719 Hmm. 625 00:40:08,720 --> 00:40:10,400 Baddingham family motto. 626 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:13,240 Circa 1972. 627 00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,999 Lord Pop Pop, Tony's father, 628 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,239 made his millions in munitions during the war. 629 00:40:22,240 --> 00:40:25,200 That's why Tony married Lady Monica of the Glen. 630 00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:28,919 He had Daddy's cash, Mon-Mon had the house, 631 00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:32,720 and, what Tony wants most of all, class. 632 00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:39,319 And why are the English so obsessed with class and money? 633 00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:40,399 Declan! 634 00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:43,159 I was only asking Mr Campbell-Black a question, love. 635 00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:45,919 Rupert, you've met Declan then. 636 00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:46,999 Anyone want another drink? 637 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,199 Oh! You've found one. 638 00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:50,879 Hmm. 639 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:52,639 It's decent Scotch. Did Monica choose it? 640 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,399 Ignore us. Our families go back a long way. 641 00:40:57,400 --> 00:40:59,080 Not that far. 642 00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:02,759 Listen, uh, can I have a word, Rupert, in private? 643 00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:04,079 A business proposition. 644 00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:05,480 Well, we're all friends here. 645 00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:09,239 Nothing you could say to me that dear Maudie shouldn't hear. 646 00:41:09,240 --> 00:41:12,999 I am not drinking sherry with the wives while the men have all the fun. 647 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:16,320 No. You wanna be here when Tony asks me to be on his board. 648 00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:24,840 Uh, uh, uh, uh-- Well, all right. 649 00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:29,240 It's a lucrative game. I thought you'd want in. 650 00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:32,399 It's so hard to take you seriously, Tony. 651 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,279 You just always sound like you're playing Monopoly. 652 00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:37,920 The answer's no. 653 00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:40,919 Lady Gosling thinks I can give you some class, 654 00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:42,279 help you keep your franchise, 655 00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:46,120 but I'm not using my family name so you can buy yourself a bigger helicopter. 656 00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:51,759 Uh, Tony, Paul Stratton's here. 657 00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:53,720 Ah! 658 00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:57,559 Sorry we're late, everyone. 659 00:41:57,560 --> 00:41:59,079 Bit of trouble getting out of bed actually. 660 00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:00,719 You know what newly-weds are like. 661 00:42:00,720 --> 00:42:02,639 Paul. 662 00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:05,559 Mind yourself in those jeans. You bend over, your eyes will pop out. 663 00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:11,039 And the new Mrs Stratton, now you are a very welcome upgrade. 664 00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:13,960 Well done, Paul. 665 00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:16,879 - Uh, do you know Declan O'Hara? - Oh, yes. 666 00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,559 Yeah, you did us all a favour, actually, Mr O'Hara. 667 00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:21,599 Good to get everything out in the open. 668 00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:22,959 We're insanely happy. 669 00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:24,199 Aren't we, Paul? 670 00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:25,599 I'm a new man. 671 00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:29,880 Excuse me. 672 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:37,840 This is so fucking stupid. 673 00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:53,640 I heard about you catching Campbell-Black playing tennis in the noddy. 674 00:42:55,240 --> 00:42:57,199 That's enough to upset anyone. 675 00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:58,520 Who knows about that? 676 00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,800 Well, the whole valley knows about the fire engines. 677 00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:08,280 And I know who the mystery woman was now, don't I? 678 00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:02,959 You know you're dancing with the devil, don't you? 679 00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:04,919 Says the man who works for Thatcher. 680 00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:08,120 Let's hope you've got rhythm. 681 00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:29,240 Oh, incoming. 682 00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:34,519 You bastard! 683 00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:37,040 You've been shagging Sarah Stratton too? 684 00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:44,359 It was only tennis! 685 00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:09,119 Ow. 686 00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:10,439 Fuck! 687 00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:11,599 - Ow. - Drop! 688 00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,200 Ouch! 689 00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:29,440 Beattie, darling! 690 00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:32,400 I'm going to ruin you. 691 00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:46,840 I'm so sorry. 692 00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:55,480 I wouldn't mind, but... ...that's my car. 693 00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:09,679 - So it's Rupert now, is it? - It was a conversation. I was conversing. 694 00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:10,919 You were all over him. 695 00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:13,959 Oh, what, now I can't even talk to a man without you assuming that I'm after him. 696 00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:15,639 - Oh, grow up. - God. 697 00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:17,279 I didn't ask to come here. 698 00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:19,839 You're the one that took the cheque and just sold us all out. 699 00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:22,639 Yeah, Maud. It's a horrible house and you live a terrible life. 700 00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:24,639 What, and these are our people now? Oh, my God. 701 00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:27,879 They're all horses and dogs, and houses and cars, 702 00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:30,599 and who's got the longest fecking driveway. 703 00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:33,359 I mean, God, the men are all desperate to ride anything, 704 00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:34,799 as long as they're not married to it. 705 00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:36,319 The wives, Jesus, 706 00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:39,879 they haven't had an orgasm since... ...Pony Club camp. 707 00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:42,960 Oh, for fuck-- 708 00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:48,399 That's not us, is it? 709 00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:53,319 Everyone was looking at you. 710 00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:56,800 Huh. And did you like that? 711 00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:59,079 Oh, God. 712 00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:01,479 How much? How much did you like that? 713 00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:05,279 - Tell me. Yeah. - A lot. 714 00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:06,919 - How much? - A lot. 715 00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:59,160 Yeah. Hello. Come on. 716 00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:00,640 Did you miss me? 717 00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:30,440 Yes? 718 00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:33,120 Yes, fine. 719 00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:37,320 No, it was, uh, a buffet table. 720 00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:41,280 Of course. See you 9:00 a.m.? 721 00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:44,280 You have a good evening, Prime Minister. 722 00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:51,560 Come on, dogs. 723 00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:54,200 Daddy's in trouble again. 724 00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:15,200 Mummy and Daddy are clearly back on track. Was Rupert there? 725 00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:18,880 Yeah, I think so. 726 00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:29,599 "As she gazed at the O'Caseys, 727 00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:32,239 with their burnished bohemian beauty, 728 00:49:32,240 --> 00:49:36,279 entering this world of unbridled passion, she worried." 729 00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:41,479 "Little did Diarmuid O'Casey know that he had brought his family into the wild." 730 00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:47,880 "Into a world of untameable beasts giving in to their basest needs. 731 00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:57,719 Hungry for sex." 732 00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:06,079 "Hungry for status." 733 00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:10,320 "Hungry for love. 734 00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:19,640 Hungry for power." 735 00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:23,040 You know, Campbell-Black is finished after today. 736 00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:25,399 "Hungry for comfort." 737 00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:26,799 Are you coming to bed? 738 00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:29,840 You had better be stark bollock naked when I get through there. 739 00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:34,960 Good dogs. Good dogs. Lie down. 740 00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:46,199 Mmm. "Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord." 741 00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:05,360 "Because as seductive as these predators might be, 742 00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:09,599 one should always beware of being eaten." 743 00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:20,079 Bloody hell! 744 00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:23,199 Oh, yes! 745 00:51:33,720 --> 00:51:34,880 This is a surprise. 746 00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:39,039 The prime minister wasn't thrilled about seeing her ministers' private lives 747 00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:40,519 splashed all over the papers. 748 00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,159 Paul Stratton's been shuffled to the backbenches. 749 00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:45,199 Oh, dear. Have you lost your job? 750 00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:46,799 No. Not at all. No. 751 00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:48,640 No, Mrs Thatcher's given me a promotion. 752 00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:54,200 I'm her new Minister for Sport, so thank you. 753 00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:56,280 I couldn't have done it without you. 754 00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:00,360 You had to come all this way to tell me that? 755 00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:05,560 I want you to keep your grubby little nose out of my affairs. 756 00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:10,600 Maggie will see through you soon enough, you overprivileged cunt. 757 00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:18,840 You'll have to try harder than that if you wanna beat me, Lord Baddingham. 758 00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:28,360 Game on.